What I imagine. — BackedTGC

Ever since my ex cursed me to a life of womanhood, I've been missing sex. I used to be quite the playboy. I swear she did something to make me hornier than most women. because it seems im always thinking about it. for a while jercking off was my only escape from this nightmare. The only time i could have a moment where I could lie down, jerck off, watch a dude, with a cock, fuck a girl. I'd imagine it was MY cock. that i was the dude. and that I could screw women with my cock again. If I really focused, it was almost like I was a dude again. just for a second. Thing is, I wasnt. there was this dissonance. moaning, rubbing my clit and fingering myself while trying to forget I was a girl. that in combination with my complicated anatomy made it impossible to cum. but wt least for a moment i could pretend I wasn't a girl. Eventually, with no release, my body was driving me wild. the last few days i could hardly put my knees together without moaning. I was determined to focus. to not stop until i finally reached an orgasm in this current body. so I rubbed my clit, and fingered myself. Focusing on his cock plowing her pussy. I tried to imagine having a cock again, to mentally push out the fact i was rubbing my clit. Focus on his cock. focus on the cock not your pussy. Cock not pussy, cock and suddenly, just for a second, an image popped into my head. not slowly but like a flash, like lightning crashing. An image imagining myself in the video like usual, but instead of the man with the cock, I imagined myself as the woman getting fucked by the cock. and an orgasm crashed over me. like getting hit by a freight train. this was more than your average cum. this was knees shaking teeth clattering full body orgasm in a world rocking way I had never experienced. I had just came, finally, but it took fantasizing about being fucked by a dude to do it. it took me imagining getting my pussy filled and stretchd by pulsing cock. I was horrified. And the worst part? now whenever I watch porn, I find it impossible to imagine myself as anyone but the girl. Its like my brain literally can't put myself in the mental perspective of imagining being the dude fucking the girl. fantasizing about how hot the girl is. No its like my brain can only imagine myself as the girl. fantasizing about being the one sucking cock or getting fucked. I can't help but imagine myself as the one in the video on her knees or back letting a guy cum all over her. my one release where i could feel like a dude again, torn away from me forever. But at least i figured out how to get this body to cum.