Go Fuck Yourself - Part 1
My back was to the house with my face tilted towards the sky, eyes closed, taking in the warmth of the afternoon summer sun when my cousin Michael opened the door.
“There’s the new grad! You realize it’s 4pm - you were supposed to be here over an hour ago.” He said without amusement.
I turned back around, “Hey Michael, sorry for being late. There was some unexpected traffic getting into the city. Thanks for letting me crash here for a couple of days while I make the road trip back home.”
“Yeah well I’m doing it for your Mom and Aunt Jenny, not for you. Grab your things and come inside.” he said turning away from the door and heading back inside the house, not offering to help at all.
I sighed and picked up my bags. Michael and I were close growing up, he’s only three years older than me but things changed shortly after my 18th birthday. He was there for the party and thought Aunt Jenny was acting suspicious after he saw the both of us leaving the guest house. When he not so discreetly tried to insinuate I had been doing something malicious to Aunt Jenny at the party, she quickly stepped in and shut him down in front of everyone. I don’t think he’s forgiven me since.
He showed me to the guest bedroom which was located on the main floor of the house, “Wow, something smells good.” I noted as I set my bags down next to the bed.
“Yeah, that’s my wife Erica. She started prepping dinner thirty or so minutes ago. It should be ready to eat by six. Come on, I’ll introduce you.” Michael replied.
I followed him out of the room and down the hall into the kitchen where a pot with steam slowly rising from it sat on a burner.
“Babe? You in here?” Michael called out.
“Hey baby! Yea, in the pantry!” A feminine dulcet voice replied from a room a few feet away. The owner of the voice walked out and up to Michael, who gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then turned to me with a welcoming expression.
“Hey there, you must be Bryan! Pleasure to meet you.” She said with a warm smile and an outstretched hand.
She was easily one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She was wearing a black shirt that had elastic in its bottom hem, making the fabric hug her waist accentuating the undulating vertical curves of her body. Her arms were slender but toned and she was someone who obviously worked out judging by the thickness of her legs. Her slightly curled hair was a breathtaking sandy blonde that seemed more gold in the afternoon sunlight that was shining through the kitchen window. While her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, her face was delicately framed by a couple of loose curled bangs that must have been slightly too short to be held in place by the hair tie.
“Oh god… this would be so easy…” I thought to myself, “No dude, it’s your cousins wife, even if he is a dick.” I smiled back and shook her hand, “Pleasure’s all mine, thanks for letting me crash here for some rest while I finish my trip back home.”
“It’s no problem, really. We’re glad to have you.” She said with a soft laugh that caused my heart to skip a beat.
Our hands parted and she moved around to the other side of the kitchen island, “Alright you boys get out of my kitchen, I need to finish up cooking. Dinner should be ready by six!”
Michael gave me a tour of their home, it was a nice two-story house with a basic layout. All of the daytime living spaces were on the first floor while the intended bedrooms were on the second floor. Michael however turned one of the bedrooms upstairs into a home office and what was originally supposed to be the office on the first floor into a guest room.
We had all just sat down for dinner, food already plated at our seats. Michael and I sat across from each other while Erica sat in the seat to our side. She had made some beautifully seared steaks, mashed potatoes, and a lightly seasoned salad.
She picked up an unopened bottle of wine as well as an opener and handed it towards me, “Would you do the honors?” she said, once again smiling.
“Of course.” I replied, I couldn’t help but smile back. Just as I finished pouring the last glass Michael pulled out his phone. “Sorry, I need to take care of something. I’ll be in my office.” He said while getting up from the table and heading upstairs.
Erica sighed, “Surprise, surprise…” she said disappointed.
“Does that happen often?” I asked.
“Often enough…” Erica said with a saddened but annoyed tone. “Forget it though. There’s still you to keep me company!” She said smiling again. “I’ve been with Michael for years but he’s never really talked about you or his family. Even at the wedding it was just his parents and friends.”
“Yeah, to be honest I didn’t know you existed until today. Him and I don’t talk much and that’s probably because of what happened at my 18th birthday party 4 or 5 years ago… but I don’t think it’s something I should really be talking about”
“No worries, I get it. Tell me about yourself! Hobbies, career aspirations, funny college stories?” She asked that last one with a smirk and raised eyebrow. There was a slight pause before we both broke out in laughter.
We ate and talked for what seemed like forever. We talked about our childhood, our most embarrassing moments, our lowest points and our high points. She was genuinely just a really nice person. Worked for a non-profit animal shelter, volunteered during the summer at kids camps, waited until marriage to have sex… how the hell did Michael land her?!
“Oh crap, we’re out of wine!” I exclaimed with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard because of our current topic of conversation.
“Well… we still have Michael’s glass.” She said with a mischievous smirk.
I looked back at her with a suspicious playful grin.
“It’s been hours since he left, we finished eating and the bottle of wine. You really think it matters at this point?” She replied sarcastically.
“Fair, fair. You win Erica.” I said laughing and picking up Michael’s glass and hers. I poured half of what was left into her glass and then I picked up mine. Just as the last drops were mid air, falling into my glass, Michael walked through the door.
“Well aren’t you two just buddy buddy now?” Michael said with irritation in his voice. Both Erica and I became silent.
“Look man, we were just talking over dinner and wine, that’s it.” I said.
“I know what you’re up to Bryan, you’re trying to do the same thing you did back then to Aunt Jenny” He accused.
“What the hell are you even talking about?” I shot back with a raised voice. Of course I knew what he was talking about but no one else other than Aunt Jenny did.
“Are you talking about what happened during his 18th birthday party?” Erica looked to Michael and asked.
Michael’s eyes flared with anger, “You told her what happened?” Of course you did you sad piece of shit.”
“No, he-” Erica began to say before Michael cut her off.
“Tonights over, I think it's best you turn in for the night Bryan.” Michael said, obviously enraged.
I got up and started to walk towards the guest room, “Dude, why are you being such a dick? What have I ever done to you?” I fired back.
“Go fuck yourself Bryan! You’ll shut up if you still want to stay here.” He said as I continued down the hall.
I heard Erica scold Michael for cussing while trying to figure out what hell had just happened but Michael wasn’t having it and kept telling her it was none of her business. After a few minutes of hearing plates, dishes, and bickering I finally heard them both head upstairs for the night. I was seething…
“Who the fuck does he think he is? All I was doing was having a good time with Erica and he has the audacity to come in and ruin the night for everyone like that? Gah!” I said in frustration. “He probably spewed lies to Erica about me too. That ass hole.” I rolled around in bed, replaying the day in my head. How he greeted me at the door, how he treated me at dinner, how he told me to go fuck myself. Suddenly, I got an idea, “You know what Michael, fine… I think I will go and fuck myself.” I said under my breath as I threw off the bedcovers.
I quietly opened the door to my room and tiptoed upstairs to the master bedroom. I gently pressed my ear to the door to listen for any sound and smiled as all I could hear was Michael’s snoring. I cracked open their door and slipped through, making my way to Erica’s side of the bed. She was sleeping on her back with her right hand on her stomach and her left next to the side of the bed. I gingerly put my hand under her left hand, after a moment of focusing she softly and slowly squirmed her legs for a few seconds before becoming still again and letting out what sounded like a pleasurable sigh. She removed her hand from mine as she moved both of hers to rest on her chest. I quietly exited the room and closed the door behind me. Grinning as I climbed back into bed and went to sleep.
(To be continued…)