"Finally, I've been waiting for this for the last two months."
"You mean since The Cataclysm happened."
"You know that's a myth created by big government and mainstream media."
"It's not a myth. Trust me."
"Do you want to tell the pastor that?"
"No. But I'm telling you."
"Well, though I don't appreciate my wife criticizing the pastor — or pretending she is possessed by someone else — I know two things. The first thing I know is the wife maker."
"The Wife Maker?""
"And two, I know when a man's soul is blasted from his body into a woman's body, her breasts grow. Every guy in our church who allegedly ended up in someone else experienced some impressive expansion in the host body. Must be the shock involved with the exchange."
"You said it was a myth."
"Your tits sure aren't. God, my wife's tits were never that mythical. It's the only thing that gives me doubts. But hey, I'm so starved for marital relations I don't have time to doubt something as wonderful as my wife's big new tits."
"Even though your friend is stuck in your wife?"
"Friend is a stretch. You were just the head deacon at our church. Number three behind the pastor himself. And now, you're my wife. The pastor with today's sermon has made it so."
"Yeah, I heard the sermon. It seemed a bit shrill."
"Look at you in my wife's red sheer lingerie. You've made a compelling choice."
"It was the only thing my tits fit in."
"I have no complaints."
"So I've put on the lingerie. Just like you asked. Just like an obedient wife. Now can we watch Netflix or something?"
"You know we won't be watching Netflix."
"I just think it's rather messed up that you think you will have any connection with some strange man who "isn't your friend" and who was "just the head deacon at your church" who is possessing your wife's body."
"Our church is strict wouldn't you agree?"
"Yes."
"Marriages are practically arranged, and divorce isn't allowed. How is this really any different from how things were?"
"You've got to be kidding me."
"No, you're my wife. That's that. Now. . . take it off."
"No."
"Obey your husband. Or would you rather face eternal punishment? Take it off."
"This is so stupid! You're a philistine! I can't believe I'm entertaining this."
"This isn't entertainment. This is a sober marital responsibility. So yes you can believe it. Besides, all eyes are on you. They want to see if the head deacon can be faithful in the face of adversity and tribulation. And luckily you're a faithful guy. With a great rack."
"What are you doing?"
"Taking my pants off."
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?"
"I'm your husband. . . and you are my wife."
". . ."
"Get on your knees, honey."
"We don't have to take this so fast. This is everything all at once. That's too much"
"Is it any different from either of our wedding nights?"
". . ."
"Kneel. Just for a second. Look, I know you miss your cock. Just pretend it's yours."
"Fine. But it's too fast. . ."
"It's always too fast in these situations. A marriage night after abstenance is like going from 10mph to 120 with just a simple "I do." You know what we expected, and neither of us had any idea."
"Then why are you rushing this now."
"Because it's what I know."
"They don't really prepare us for the bedroom."
"They sure don't. At least I know the wife maker."
"The wife maker?"
"Nevermind. So. . . tell me: were you prepared for my cock?"
"No. . . It's big."
"Bigger than yours was?"
"Yep. Big time."
"My wife never complained."
"Sigh."
"And what about these?"
"They're also bigger than I expected."
"But they feel good don't they?
"You don't have to answer that."
". . ."
"It's fine. You don't have to speak. Just pleasure your husband."
"Sigh."
"You have daggers in your eyes."
"If you were Samson I'd give you a buzz cut."
"You're really upset? How? I've heard you in the bathtub. I've heard what you've been doing in there all alone."
"I'm married. . . "
"You can't be married in the bathtub and divorced in our living room."
"If I could I would."
"You're good at that."
"Shut up."
"You know you are supposed to respect your husband."
"I have heard of this rule. Let's just say I'm not well practiced yet."
"Well, we are here to give you practice. What are you waiting for?"
"What are YOU waiting for?"
"You know what I'm waiting for."
"Oh god."
"I imagine by the look in your eyes, you find that less repulsive than you expected."
. . .
"I must compliment you. You do that better than my wife."
. . .
"Can you believe we are going to get old together?"
. . .
"I imagine it will take a lot of work. That's why I think it's important we have a sexual connection."
"What makes you think I want a connection with you?"
"What are you doing?"
"Come already. I'm done with this. Come. I can't turn into your wife in one night."
"But I know the wife maker."
"You keep saying that. What does that mean?"
"It's not important. You'll know when you know."
"Hurry."
"You know the rules. You can't just waste my seed. Stand up and turn around."
"But."
"You can't tell me you aren't just a little curious what this is going to feel like."
". . ."
"Come on."
"Fine."
"That's a good wife."
"Can you hurry up and come already."
"You don't like this?"
"It's fine but it's not blowing my mind."
"You have to get used to it."
"I don't know if I'm ever getting used to this."
"Well, there's always the wife maker."
"Will you stop saying that — oh. . . oh fuck."
.
.
.
TWO DAYS LATER
"Hi, honey."
"Oh! You startled me."
"What are you doing?"
"Oh, I just thought I'd get up early and do some baking. . . "
.
.
.
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